Why Do Some of My Relatives Not Show Up in My DNA Matches?
When I got my DNA results back, I couldn’t wait to explore the matches. I expected to see familiar names — close and distant relatives from Colombia I grew up hearing stories about. I was especially excited to find my cousin, who moved from Bogotá to Miami years ago and keeps in touch regularly. But as I scrolled through the list, her name was nowhere to be found — alongside a branch of my mom’s family that I thought would be obvious. For a moment, I wondered: Was I sent the wrong results? Was there a mistake in the test?
As it happens, having close or known relatives not appear in your DNA matches is more common than you’d think. Not all biological relatives appear in your DNA matches. That doesn’t mean they aren’t related — it just means the match didn’t register. Sometimes, the DNA shared is too small to detect, or the person hasn’t been tested yet. Other times, it comes down to settings, filters, or platform differences. So, to save you from sending a long email or a minor existential crisis, here’s why some relatives don’t show up — and what you can do to find them.
DNA Inheritance Isn’t Always Predictable
DNA is passed down randomly. You inherit 50% of your DNA from each parent, but beyond that, the percentages can vary greatly. You might share 25% with an aunt, but only a sliver of DNA with a cousin — or none at all that shows up in a test. The reason:
- Recombination can reduce shared DNA – When DNA is passed down through generations, it gets shuffled. That means you might not inherit the same segments as your cousin, especially if the relationship is distant.
- Some segments are too small to detect – Testing companies have thresholds for what they report. If the shared DNA is below that limit, it may not appear as a match.
As was the case with my cousin, if your relative falls into this gray area, it doesn’t mean the family tie isn’t real—just that the genetic evidence wasn’t strong enough to register.
A Disconnect on DNA Testing
Something else to consider is who has been tested and what tests are shared across platforms and borders. A known relative might not show up simply because they haven’t taken a compatible or accessible DNA test (assuming they took a test at all). Keep in mind that:
- Each testing service has its own database – If you tested on one site but your cousin tested on another, you won’t see each other unless one of you uploads your DNA results to both.
If you’re concerned about this, explore our tips for connecting DNA across services in How to Find Your Biological Family. - Privacy settings matter – Some users choose to remain private or opt out of matching, which can prevent their results from appearing on your list.
That being said, if you’re confident a relative has tested and you don’t see them, try and verify what platform they’re using and whether their settings allow matching.
DNA Matches Further Down the Line
As was the case with my cousin, the shared DNA was too diluted to register as a match, even though the paper trail (and our extended family) confirmed it. Sometimes relatives don’t show up simply because they are too distantly related to fall within the match parameters.
Remember, distant relatives share less DNA, and it doesn’t have to be that distant. As the generational gap widens, the odds of shared segments decline. In addition, some family branches inherit different segments — even among siblings, DNA inheritance can vary.
That’s why taking a multivariant approach is helpful, combining DNA research with traditional genealogy methods like census records and marriage certificates. If you’re missing expected matches, there are ways to widen the net and improve your chances:
- Encourage relatives to test – The more family members you have in the system, the greater the chance of confirming connections.
- Upload your DNA to an open provider – Use tools with free DNA uploads from other providers, which can broaden your match pool.
- Use family trees to fill gaps – Combining genetic results with documented family history creates a more complete picture.
- Explore chromosome browsers – Some platforms offer tools to compare segment data and identify potential matches.
DNA is Just One Piece of the Puzzle
When familiar names don’t appear in your DNA matches, it can be frustrating — but it’s rarely the end of the story. Between inheritance randomness, testing platforms, and privacy settings, there are many reasons someone might be missing from your list.
There’s no arguing that DNA is a powerful tool, but it works best when used alongside more traditional research and a bit of patience. So, if you’re missing a match, don’t lose hope. The connection might still be there — you just need a few more pieces of the puzzle to figure it out.
