Many people who are adopted want to connect with their biological family. Whether you’re looking for medical information, a sense of belonging, or just to understand where you come from, finding your biological parents can be a difficult journey.
Laws, sealed records, and social stigma can make it hard to find your biological family. The fear of rejection or disappointment can be overwhelming. But, I’ll show you how to find your biological parents and connect with other people who are searching for their family.
With the right tools and support, you can find your biological family and feel a sense of belonging. It’s time to start your journey of discovery. They are out there, waiting for you to find them.
» Start looking for your biological parents: Order a DNA test
Essential information to gather
When preparing to search for your adoption or family history, consider collecting the following types of information:
If you were adopted and are seeking information about your biological mother, you might gather:
- Name: Jane Doe
- Date of Birth: January 15, 1980
- Place of Birth: Springfield, Illinois
- Medical History: Known conditions such as diabetes or heart disease in her family.
- Circumstances of Adoption: Adopted through Springfield Adoption Agency in March 1980.
Once you have collected the necessary information, you can apply it strategically in your research process:
- Contact Adoption Agencies: Use the details about the agency involved in your adoption to request non-identifying information. Many agencies can provide medical histories or social background data that may not be available through public records.
- Search Public Records: Use your birth name and birth date to access public records such as birth certificates or court documents. Depending on state laws, you may be able to obtain copies or at least verify details.
- Engage with Relatives: Reach out to family members who may have knowledge about your biological family. Conduct interviews with older relatives who might recall stories or facts that could lead you to more information.
- Use Online Resources: Online databases and genealogy platforms like MyHeritage can help you trace family trees based on the names and dates you’ve gathered. You might also find forums where others share similar experiences and tips for successful searches.
- Legal Assistance: If necessary, consult with a lawyer specializing in adoption law to navigate any legal barriers that may exist regarding accessing records or contacting biological relatives.
» Use abandonment records in search for your biological family
3 challenges when finding your biological family
Challenge 1: Difficulty securing information
You may struggle to get information. Adoptive parents might be hesitant to share, or they simply may not have anything to give (as in closed adoptions). Even in open adoptions, they could be hiding secrets to protect you, themselves, or others. Unfortunately, they or anyone who knows about your biological family might not be available or may have passed away.
Challenge 2: Lack of motivation
Another challenge is the emotional effort it takes to start and maintain a search. You’ll need to find potential sources of information, such as adoption agencies, organizations, and people involved in your birth. You might also face delays or refusals due to laws.
On top of that, it can be tough to deal with the emotions and inner struggles that may arise as you learn about your biological family, the circumstances of your birth, and what it all means to you. The idea of contacting and meeting your biological relatives can be overwhelming..
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Challenge 3: Research expenses
Another challenge is the cost of finding information about your biological family. The fees for DNA tests, requesting records, and possibly hiring a lawyer or expert can add up quickly. If you haven’t thought about these costs, it could slow down your search or take longer than you expected.
A guide to finding your biological family
Case 1: You have enough information
If you know your birth parent’s name, birthplace, and other details, you’ve made a great start. You can search for them on Google, Whitepages, and social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. You could also call a free directory assistance number or look for their names in obituaries or local newspapers.
If you have their driver’s license or social security number, you might be able to find their past addresses. For social security numbers, the first three digits can often tell you the state where the person lived when they applied. But, this only works for applications after 1972. Before that, the numbers were assigned based on the state that issued the card. So, the state might not be where they actually lived.
Adam, a person who was adopted, had his original birth certificate. This gave him information about his birth parents. He used different methods to find them, including DNA tests, online databases like MyHeritage, local voter records, and help from professionals. He was finally able to find their addresses and eventually contacted them.
Case 2: You have some information
If you know the general area, check the state’s laws about adoptions and separations. Contact the state’s social services to find out if they keep records of public agency adoptions and to learn about their disclosure laws and processes. If your state allows it, you can order your original birth certificate.
My sister used limited information to find her birth parents. My mom had a file with the adoption agency’s information and a letter about my sister’s birth mother. My sister contacted the organization, who helped her connect with two of her half-siblings.
If you know a location, name, and birth year, you can try searching high school yearbooks and reunion sites. You might need to check city, county, state, and federal records, which could involve ordering birth or death certificates or visiting local courthouses and archives.
You can also use MyHeritage to search census, vital, and other records. Check out how you can do it below:
Case 3: You don’t have any information
If you don’t have any information about your birth family, a DNA test is a good place to start. It can help you find relatives and confirm family relationships. It’s helpful to learn about DNA search strategies and join online communities like DNA Detectives and use resources like the Foster Care and Adoption Directory.
My grandmother’s cousin told me that my grandfather wasn’t my grandmother’s biological father. My grandfather confirmed this and shared some details about the man. I took a DNA test and found a close match with a great-great-aunt. With her help, I was able to identify the correct father.
You can also try registering with adoption reunion registries and requesting your birth records. Check foster care records and consider using services like the Salvation Army’s Missing Persons locator. You might also want to seek help from search professionals.
» Trace your biological parents with the help of lineage societies
Reuniting with your biological family
The search for your biological family can be a long, emotional journey filled with both triumphs and setbacks. But with persistence, resourcefulness, and the right support system, you have the power to overcome the challenges and uncover the answers you’ve been seeking.
Whether you have a wealth of information to guide your search or are starting from scratch, the path forward is within reach. By tapping into public records and DNA databases, you can methodically work to piece together your family history and reconnect with your biological roots.
MyHeritage has one of the largest and fastest-growing DNA databases, with nearly 9 million individuals. This expansive database increases the likelihood of finding biological relatives, as more people taking the test enhances the chances of matching with others who share genetic ties.
You can also build and explore family trees, which can be instrumental in your search for your biological parents. When we find a DNA match, we’ll alert you so you can view their family trees, potentially revealing connections that lead back to birth parents or other relatives.
