19 Jokes All Genealogists Will Appreciate

Genealogists take family history research very seriously. However, we all still love good genealogy humor.

We hope you can take a break — from searching for your great-great-great-grandmother — to check out our favorite genealogy jokes. They’re sure to make genealogists and non-genealogists alike chuckle.

  1. “My ancestors are so hard to find, they must have been in a witness protection program!”
  2. Eventually, all genealogists come to their census.
  3. Genealogists: The only people who are excited to read obituaries.
  4. “Done! Everything in the family tree has been found and is completely organized” — said no genealogist. Ever.
  5. Genealogist: Disturbs the dead and irritates the living.
  6. Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide… we seek!
  7. “I’m not stuck, I’m ancestrally challenged.”
  8. Gene-Allergy: It’s a contagious disease, but we love it.
  9. Genealogy: Where the answer to one problem leads to two more!
  10. “My husband calls cemeteries ancestor farms.”
  11. “I’m more interested in what happened in 1816, than what’s happening today  in 2016”
  12. Wife to husband: “Never mind the children, do you know where your second great-grandparents are tonight?”
  13. Only a genealogist views a step backwards as progress.
  14. “I used to have a lot of free time… then I discovered genealogy.”
  15. “I collect dead relatives!”
  16. “My ancestors did WHAT?”
  17. A pack rat is hard to live with, but makes a mighty fine ancestor.
  18. “I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand.”
  19. “I think my ancestors had several “bad heir” days.”

These unattributed, anonymously-authored jokes were compiled from around the Web.

Do you have any genealogy jokes to add to this list? Share them in the comments below.


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  • Ken H

    March 14, 2016

    My Great grandfather’s once job was making clown’s shoes….that was no small feat I can tell ya!

  • Anthea K

    March 15, 2016

    I don’t have a family tree, it is more like a family web.

  • Lilian French

    March 15, 2016

    My ancestors name was Foote. I went to visit a graveyard in a small village where they were reputed to have lived. I sent a postcard home to my parents. “There’s not even one Foot(e) in the grave”

  • Bob T

    March 15, 2016

    I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out

  • Dennis Reilly

    March 18, 2016

    My great-grandma from Germany couldn’t read or write, so she signed her naturalization papers with her Mark, an ex.

  • Steve Scott

    March 18, 2016

    Grandpa wouldn’t talk about his heritage, so I went digging to find the horse thief. All I’ve found so far were a bookie and numbers runner.

  • Reneé Huhtala-White

    March 20, 2016

    In Third grade, my father’s teacher asked the class if any of the students had any Indian ancestors. My father raised his hand. The teacher asked him, “What tribe was it?” My father replied, “I don’t think it was a whole tribe. Grandpa always said that it was just one wandering Indian.”

  • Toni Walker

    March 21, 2016

    That first one is mine!! I’ve gotten lots of feedback on it when corresponding with archives. Missing is my other standby. My great grandfather fell out of a space ship and was raised by unicorns until he married for the first time at 35 years of age.

  • Jack Cowart

    April 21, 2016

    Genealogists never die, they just loose their census.

  • Pj

    May 25, 2017

    I’m more interested in dead people than alive ones!

  • knock knock jokes

    January 12, 2019

    Can’t decide what to say?

    Knock knock jokes

  • Jeri Hernandez

    May 3, 2019

    When my husband wakes up and I am still on my computer…

    Him: Why are you still up?
    Me: I am looking for dead people.
    Him: Why don’t you just let them rest in peace?
    Me: Where’s the fun in that?