She Searched for Her Birth Parents Across the Middle East — and Uncovered a Tragic Story of Enduring Love

Debbie Iromlou, 56, of London, U.K., was the product of a great love story between a young Kuwaiti woman and the Iranian cook who worked at her wealthy parents’ house — but most of her life, Debbie had no idea.

Debbie Iromlou

The cook, Abbas, had a wife and children waiting for him in Iran, and when the love affair was discovered, he was violently expelled from the house by the uncles of his young lover, Bibi. Not long after, Bibi discovered that she was pregnant and with the help of her mother — the only other person who knew her secret — she flew from Kuwait to London to give birth in hiding. Debbie was born in 1968 and was immediately placed in foster care.

Debbie as a baby

At two months of age, Debbie was placed with a foster mother in Lowestoft, Suffolk. She grew up with no idea that the mother raising her was not her biological mother. It was only when Debbie turned 16 and her foster mother requested to formally adopt her that she learned the truth. Since then, she has been on a journey to find her biological parents and discover her family roots; a journey that took her all across the Middle East, including Turkey, Iraq, Iran, Egypt, Kuwait, and beyond.

Digging up information, bit by bit

At first, all Debbie had were partial names of her birth parents and their countries of origin. The adoption agency in London did not help her, and it took a long struggle of digging up information bit by bit over the decades.

In 1988, Debbie traveled to Iran for the first time. The Iran-Iraq war was still raging, but that didn’t stop her. However, since her father’s name is extremely common, she was unable to obtain any important clues or information, and due to the war, she wasn’t able to find passage to Kuwait.

Two years later, after the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait (August 1990) that triggered the First Gulf War, Debbie was afraid her maternal family would be hurt and that she was about to lose any chance of ever meeting her mother. But in 1992, after the war was over, a friend she met at a support group for adoptees traveled to Kuwait for work. Debbie asked her to search for relatives according to the information she had — and the friend was able to locate one of Debbie’s first cousins.

He was the love of her life

Through him, Debbie tracked down her birth mother, Bibi, who had escaped to Egypt with her husband and 4 children. Debbie flew to Cairo to meet her mother, who was happy to reunite with her but still afraid that her big secret would be revealed and would hurt her or her family. Because of this, Bibi gave Debbie very few details about her father — but enough for Debbie to understand that he had been the love of her life.

Debbie visited her mother in Egypt twice more, but both meetings were constrained both in time and information. Shortly before Debbie’s fourth visit, Bibi died at the young age of 50.

Debbie was 29 at that point and continued her journey, insisting on trying to find her father with what little information her mother had given her. She visited Kuwait 4 times, openly — and bravely — presenting herself as her mother’s daughter despite the fact that her existence was kept a complete secret. But her maternal family refused to respond to her attempts to contact them, let alone provide any details about her father. The only piece of significant information came from the family’s driver, who secretly revealed to Debbie the name of the Iranian village her father came from (near Isfahan) — but unfortunately it didn’t lead her any further.

DNA testing leads to a breakthrough

In 2017 Debbie decided to take a DNA test, hoping to achieve a breakthrough. After receiving only distant matches with that testing service, she decided to upload her DNA to MyHeritage. On MyHeritage she received much more significant matches, including a second cousin from the Netherlands. Though this cousin was not from the exact branch of the family she was looking for, the connection did move her closer to finding her father.

Debbie and her daughter Jamila combined genetic genealogy and social media research to slowly work their way closer. On New Year’s Eve of 2023, Jamila found an Iranian woman on Instagram who filled some crucial gaps in information, leading Debbie to a woman she believed to be her paternal half-sister. To their delight, the sister lived in north London — just a 20-minute drive away.

Debbie (right) with her daughter Jamila

On New Year’s Day 2024, the two arranged to meet. As soon as they looked into each other’s eyes they felt they were sisters — but Jamila surprised them with a way to confirm it: a MyHeritage DNA kit. It turned out that Jamila had secretly applied to the pro bono MyHeritage DNA Quest project as part of her efforts to help her mother with her research.

Debbie’s newfound sister took the test, and a few weeks later, the relationship was confirmed. Debbie had found the identity of her father — and 5 paternal half-siblings, two of whom were living in north London. The remaining sisters and brother live in Iran. Unfortunately, their father Abbas passed away in 2011.

He had never known that he had an older daughter, but according to his children, he had continued to love Debbie’s mother all his life. He also visited London and took his grandchildren to the same playgrounds Debbie and her newfound half-siblings all took their children to.

Abbas, Debbie’s birth father

‘A deep sense of relief and peace’

This August, Debbie flew to visit her newly found family in Iran for the first time, accompanied by her sister. Due to the recent tensions in the Middle East, her flights were delayed and canceled, so in less than a month, she flew a second time by herself, to make sure the experience would feel as complete as she wished.

“I managed to return to the village where my father was born and I met all of his relatives, my sisters, an aunt who is still alive and my cousins,” says Debbie. “All of them welcomed me. They told me that if our father had found out he had a daughter he would not have given up on raising me. They even said his wife would have agreed to that. She, and everyone, knew that he was in love with the young Kuwaiti girl whose parents’ house he worked at.”

While in Iran, Debbie visited her father’s grave twice, and his family home as well.

Debbie visits her father’s grave

“Everyone told me how much I looked like him,” she says. “I feel the same way and it’s a special and comforting feeling. Even my hair, which I never really liked, became loved because it reminds me of my father’s hair.”

Debbie with her father’s grave marker

“I feel a deep sense of relief and peace within myself now that I know my story and after exactly 40 years of searching that I have found him with the help of MyHeritage,” she adds.

Many thanks to Debbie for sharing this incredible story with us. If you’ve also made an amazing discovery with MyHeritage, we’d love to hear about it! Please send it to us via this form or email us at stories@myheritage.com.