1    Apr 20101 comment

“Snow Way This Can Be Real”, says MyHeritage user after making a shocking discovery

An Icebreaking Discovery

"Out of all the animals in the kingdom,
I can't believe I'm related to a human!"

An ice breaking discovery was made earlier this week when Anthony Peabody III discovered that his lineage led him directly to the North Pole. For the first time in the long history of family trees man is now connected to our furry northern (+ endangered) friends, the polar bear.

Early last Monday Anthony received news via Smart Matching, that his great great grandmother twice removed had indeed remarried, but it wasn't your typical Homosapien Sapien. "To say the least, I was shocked," said Anthony, who proclaims to have been researching his lineage for years on Family Tree Builder before making this snowy discovery. "But, then again, photos of my great great Aunt Davidina show uncanny musculature and people always talked of her propensity towards sardines." He believes their subsequent divorce to revolve around Austen's poor table manners and Davidinna's need for him to "bring home the tuna, he instead selfishly filled his time with hibernation, he literally hibernated for three months."

After piling through Pawtracks Research compiled by GreenPeace, we contacted Austen Tassletine The Bear's most direct descendant, Filetmore Tassletine, a 4th generation Tassletine. Mr. Tassletine said that he was "snowballed by the news" but that he didn't think it should be such an uproar believing that man and snowmamal "have long needed this bridge of commonality to develop a more harmonious coexistence." Incredibly enough, Filetmore is a noted Genealogist in the Polar Bear community, who are seen as the great intellects in the greater bear Diaspora. He hopes this news and will make it easier for the Face Tagging feature on MyHeritage.com, which he claims to "keep tagging other bears as him, even the garish grizzly."

David Sanction, chair of the south Minnesota genealogy society, said the discovery was groundbreaking. "At first, I couldn't believe it," he said. "I read Austin's email, put down my coffee, and said to my wife, 'I just cannot believe it.'" Sanction said that cross-special tree findings are rare, and that the last such discovery relating to the polar bear community was more than fifty years ago. "These are really, truly, literally, once-in-a-lifetime events," he said. "It's a proud moment to be chairing a genealogy society when one of your members discovers something like this."

Here at MyHeritage, we are proud to release this story and work toward co-chairing the ManBear Society with PETA, aiming for the sustainable development of ManBear relationships for the new decade.

We would like to thank Hogwarts for their help with Polar translations. Polar Bear will also become the 37th language of the website.

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Comments (1) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Great fun, thanks for this April fools article!
    Cheers from Yorkshire.

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